“Our Greatest Fear”                    “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”  Psalms: 56:3 (NIV)

There is an African proverb that says “Your greatest hope is your greatest fear.”

I’ve been pretty lucky in my life in that I haven’t really had much to fear.  Besides my two major brain surgeries, I’ve never broken a major bone in my body (broke my pinky in college playing a pick-up game of basketball).  I grew up in rural Maine where we left our doors unlocked at night and played outside all day.   We drank from the stream running through my property when we got thirsty or from the hose and were never afraid of getting sick. 

I wasn’t afraid of the dark or the boogey man but I feel like I was always afraid of failing. 

I think it all started in sixth grade. I had waited until the Sunday before my science project was due( on that next Monday) to tell my parents I needed to get the supplies.  Growing up in rural Maine meant no stores were open on Sunday let alone at 6 o’clock on a Sunday evening.  In addition to the anger my parents had for just telling them I had this project due, I also had to scramble to find even the most basic supplies and went to bed knowing that I would have to stand before my terrible project and be utterly humiliated and embarrassed.

The next day was as bad as my nightmares the night before had predicted.   Everyone had these amazing projects while I had the most embarrassing taped construction paper presentation.  I have embarrassed goose bumps just remembering the look on the teachers faces of disappointment as they looked back and forth-down at my presentation and then up at me.  I was devastated but resolved to never relive that experience again.  The saying “there’s not greater teacher than our last mistake” is absolutely true.

I see this played out still in the high expectations I set for myself and how my greatest hope is my greatest fear. Now I simply do my absolute best and trust in God for the rest. Sometimes I have to remind myself, if I just do my best, it will be good enough.

We are in the midst of uncertain and unsettling times.  Around us a global pandemic rages, people are getting ill and dying, and our economy is teetering on the edge of recession or worse, depression.  If we aren’t worrying about getting sick; we are worrying about losing our jobs or security. Our leaders are being tasked with making difficult decisions weighing potential loss of life versus preserving our way of life.  It’s a particularly challenging time to navigate.  We can easily watch or read the news and succumb to fear and anxiety.

I want to encourage you to put your trust in the Lord in new ways this week.  If you need to withdraw from the news and social media, please do that.  Replace that time with reading scripture.  I encourage you to begin by reading 1 Peter 1, 1 Thessalonians 1, and/or Colossians 1 for an injection of hopeful anticipation.  There are many other scriptures that will help replace your worry and fear with joyful hope as well, but those are wonderful starting points! 

I pray you lean into God during this challenging time.  I pray you find your trust in God sustaining and strengthening during this temporary time.  May we, like the early disciples, find our faith building during our challenges and disappointments!

May it be so,

Rev Lou Ward